“You're traveling through another dimension -- a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's a signpost up ahead: your next stop”*: Dating at 60!
Yes, much like the Twilight Zone, dating at this age is a trip across dimensions. The last time we were doing this we were at least 30 years younger, 30 pounds lighter and 330 times more likely to spend the night. Now the encounters are an exercise in sucking it in, sucking it up and trying not to make sucking noises when you eat.
But before you even go out on a date you have to endure many ridiculous encounters. Like, for instance, the Fishing Guy.
Let’s call him William. William is a uniform guy (think policemen, fireman – not MacDonald’s hamburger flipper – we got standards you know). But, William is not very discerning – he has scant opening criteria – she just needs to be female, and respond to his light and breezy email - “Hey, William here. How’s it going?” His profile says nothing of substance. He has no past and it is clear, with him you will have no future. But he’s the dangerous guy you craved in your 20’s, the guy who broke your heart, but obviously could teach you no lessons.
Here he casts his net wide and targets the new entries on the scene and those that have not yet succumbed to his charming smile. Hauling in his catch every few days, throwing back the too little, too big, too needy, too inquisitive, too serious and those that remind him too much of himself. He skims the best of the catch for the next step. These he contacts with another say nothing email “What have you been up to? Want to get together for a drink?”
WHAT??? What happened to the emailing, the phone calling, the getting to know one another on a deeper level - the contemplating, the conversing, the contrasting of him against the others? Willie will have none of that. He wants face to face, mano-a-mujer and he wants it now. Why waste time with all of the preliminaries. In a few months you won’t remember each other’s existence much less whether he had children or your favorite color is green. But, you’re not that kind of girl, any more. Hell, haven’t you learned anything in 40 years!! No
Perhaps William is misunderstood. He’s shy, doesn’t write well or is just a man of few words. We’ll ask him to call. We’ll take control of the situation - assert ourselves. So, you compose a breezy email of your own: “Hey you”, you start ridiculously. “Sounds great but why don’t we chat on the phone and learn a little about each other first? My number is …” Looking forward to talking with you.”
Weeks later, after never getting that phone call and the mesmerizing effect of the uniform, that “tall drink of water” and that devilish grin wear off, you realize you’ve acted like a woman of your real chronological age. You are your own hero. You have not succumbed to his magnetic charm.
Then, a few months later, another email…”Hey, William here. How’s it going?”
Sometimes you have to pass the sign post more than once to realize you are going in circles.
See you next time.
Twilight Zone opening…by Rod Serling.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
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2 comments:
(~) This is the universal symbol for the female fish mouth referred to by the dual dating Romans as Cassandra. (male fish mouths are(-). Notice the lips are pursed to seduce but the tongue goes in two directions at the same time. This makes them very hard to catch, partly because they can flip flop instantly. This symbol and the traits that go with it have been handed down the evolutionary ladder. We men fish must throw out an inordinate number of email hooks just to get a nibble, which most of the time is spit out immediately or by the second email. If you acknowledge our uphill swim we wouldn't have to overfish.
The Fisherwoo.
Thanks for the new perspective Fisherwoo. I certainly understand that overfishing has become necessary at this age, but William is not your everyday Fisherwoo. He sees himself as an electric eel - a real stunner. But some of us have finally lived long enough to know the difference between a man fishing for keeps and one who is into catch and release!
You are invited back anytime to post the opposing view. ;(~).
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