Sex and the 60 - A Mountain House Valentine - circa 1985

It is fitting that the first serious snow that we received in many years was on February 10….what would have been my 3rd wedding anniversary. I watched the flakes accumulate slowly at first than with a fury…bringing back so many snowy winters that seemed so uneventful, so normal, so humdrum, but now I realize they were the irreplaceable days of our life together - priceless times the loss of which has dug a deep, deep hole in my heart. Times that cannot be replaced, and the hole never filled, but times that can so clearly be recalled.

When Kevin was a boy, his mother used to take him to a large old hotel in upstate New York – once a year – always in the winter. There she and her girlfriends would spend the week writing stories and acting them out – all aspiring actresses they. And Kevin would be free to explore the then 7000 acres of property along the crest of the Shawangunk Mountains, building ice boats with bed sheets and pieces of plywood to sail the frozen lake and climbing the scrambles and sheer cliffs of the labyrinth. He fell in love with the place and went back often throughout his life. It was and still is one of the most romantic and beautiful places on earth. It is Mohonk Mountain House in New Paltz New York the location of one spectacular Valentine’s week Kevin and I spent together - A memory at the same time impossible to forget and most difficult to remember.

It was 1985 and by then Kevin and I had been together (again and again, if you remember) for just over 4 years - still learning about each other and still very much unable to keep our hands off each other (boy that never did change!) He had taken me to Mohonk on several day-hiking trips in the spring and fall, but we never stayed at the hotel and therefore never drove up to the House, as all day trippers’ cars had to remain down below. I remember it had snowed lightly all the way up the NYS Thruway and the Wallkill River in New Paltz was completely frozen. As we headed up the mountain, the snow cover deepened and a mist began to close in around the car. Kevin excitedly began to prepare me for the sight of the House as we rounded a bend. Only those that have had the House revealed this way understand the wondrous sight. As we made the last turn and the mist cleared it came into view. It was like entering a Victorian novel. The jumble of architecture of the gigantic house which in its many wings once held over 400 individual rooms was introduced by a snow covered front garden that flowed down to the frozen lake deep in a basin of sheer cliffs and dense forest. Dotting the landscape were roughly built gazebos some connected by wooden walkways and far up above the cliff, a lookout Tower – a challenge to get up there clearly calling.

Now, the current Mohonk Mountain House is very different than the one I remember. The original house was built in 1869 and in 1985 it was not the popular and expensive year round resort it is today – no spa, no conference center, no swimming pools and no ice skating rink. It was at that time run by members of the Smiley Family – descendents of the founders. They were not venture capitalists, or marketers or people who had hotelier experience outside of Mohonk. They lived at the hotel, treated the staff and guests as family and did not seem to care that on that week - a week that nowadays would see the current 265 fully renovated rooms completely booked - only 11 guests registered at the hotel.

They greeted us at the portico with hot chocolate and music and our luggage was brought up to our room. It, not renovated as the rooms are now, had a private bath - not many did back then – with an original deep claw foot tub and large pedestal sink. There were 2 twin beds in the room which we quickly moved together right in front of the fireplace already stocked with wood and kindling. They refilled your wood pile each morning and if you wanted more – you paid an additional $2 per load – we ordered more – lots more!). The view from the room was of the lake and off to the right was a small doorway leading out to a tiny balcony set with 2 rocking chairs. Not a radio, television, telephone, computer terminal or any other electronic device present at all. If you suspended belief you would know you were Lara in Dr. Zhivago.

Redressed for the weather, we went down to the lobby and looked at the bulletin board which had a list of all guests and their room numbers (try that today), an index card with the weather forecast – snow showers, snow showers and snow showers for the foreseeable future along with an activities schedule – weather permitting – tubing down the hill, cross country skiing, ice skating on the lake, a movie (to be announced) screened in a small dayroom on a 30” television set, the greenhouse – paper whites on sale, tea served daily at 4 pm. in the Lake Room, horse drawn sleigh rides, a concert by the Elis, the Yale acapella choir. But for those less energetic a myriad of large and inviting club chairs set around well tended fires throughout the house and 3 delicious meals a day served in the small Dining Room (no bar – bring your own and drink in your room) could fill your days. Oh, yes, dressing for dinner – mandatory – men in jackets, ladies in skirts!

And so began that glorious week – it was Kevin and I alone, with nothing but time – time to explore the lake - a brisk walk every morning in the snow before breakfast, a hike with crampons on our boots up to the Tower – dual headphones plugged into the Walkman listening to Phil Collins singing “In the Air Tonight” (far out!), a frozen rear end from tubing, breathlessly hiking to the top of the hill just to fling ourselves down again. A magnificent sleigh ride courtesy of one of the staff – just the two of us covered with heavy blankets, the flying snow stinging our cheeks and freezing immediately on our wool hats, and coat shoulders, with the sound of the jingling bells, the horse’s hoofs muffled on the snow and the white and green landscape rushing by as we were taken on trails deep in the woods. And, of course, time to explore each other ---- yes, it was Valentine’s week and the exploration went on continuously – at waking, after lunch, before dinner and then after lighting the fire…both of us all dressed in our “dinner finery”. A slow and sweet seduction….every time, one more time….

Like everything, that week came to an end, and work deadlines, supermarkets, traffic, bills, sickness and eventually chemotherapy, radiation, helplessness and hopelessness took its place. But, if there is a heaven, that is where I will go…I hope Kevin is there laying the fire and wearing that suede blazer, his white shirt, carefully ironed jeans and Gucci loafers, pouring me a Vodka on the rocks with plenty of olives and ready for an eternity of that……

Happy Valentine’s Day to you all….May today bring you this kind of memory for your tomorrow.